February 11, 2004

Truth in Advertising

Buy our shoes! If the Wright brothers had worn our shoes, they would've built space shuttles!

If you give your family OUR orange juice, they'll love you! But if you give them that OTHER orange juice, they'll take crack and murder you in your sleep!

This car comes with power windows and this model's knockers! Buy it or you'll be a big loser with no hot model's knockers in your car!

Enzyte will expand your dong AND improve your golf game! And you'll get a raise!

Microsoft: Your potential inspires us to...ah, we don't give a shit about you.

Posted by Chris at February 11, 2004 11:27 PM | TrackBack

Mustn't forget one of my personal favorites, "Stop taking personal responsibilty for your own actions when we can sue someone for theirs!"

Posted by: Nabil at February 12, 2004 01:20 AM

My favorite is the implication that you will become rich with all the money you save by buying this or that. Spending=Saving. Not just in advertising either...401k's, IRA's and mutual funds are all spoken of as Savings when they are in fact Spending.

The 21st century is really really fucked up so far. (except for computers more or less- they're pretty damn useful for music) Words are being stolen from us pretty frequently simply via consistent misuse.

Posted by: Dana at February 12, 2004 10:50 AM

My other favorite..."Stop Spam Now!!!"

or "Tired of Advertisements in your blog comments???"

Posted by: Dana at February 12, 2004 04:23 PM

But what if we WANT bigger boobs, and they have the big boob blow up brassiere? How would we know about it if they didn't fill my mailbox with email?

Posted by: Snack Master at February 12, 2004 05:41 PM

You know what else is great??? Fax advertising. I get that shit all the time in the office. Waste of paper and fax cartridge.

Posted by: Dana at February 13, 2004 08:15 AM

um...what orange juice was that anyways...the good one? Wouldn't want to steer Emma the wrong way.

Posted by: Dana at February 13, 2004 07:04 PM

Not sure I understand why 401k's and IRA's are spending... can you explain that further... I thought these were retirement savings/investment accounts... If there's something I am missing about them I would really like to know before I put a ton of money in!

Posted by: Dave at February 28, 2004 06:24 PM

I hate those ads so much, Nabil! "YOU MAY HAVE BEEN SCREWED AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT! The Lawers at the offices of Haywood/Jablome can reclaim your unknown losses! We've found a company that screwed up back in the 80's, if you were alive, you ARE ENTITLED to COMPENSATION!" Christ, if someone screwed me enough for me to sue them, I think I would know about it! It's another reason I didn't get TV when I moved into my new place. You are paying to be sold too. Advertisements, for legal services to Coca Cola, are just a waste of time, and 1/5 of the time you are watching TV you are being advertised to. Why should I have to pay for that? The advertisers are paying the TV company, why do I have to? Well, thanks to my computer, I don't. Yeah, the internet has advertisements, and some are the annoying pop-ups that waste 1/3rd of a second of my time, but it's not the 10 minutes every half hour that TV asks of us. Yes, I have been spammed out of an e-mail account, but it wasn't nearly as terrifying as watching many good channels on TV be sucked into too many advertisements and the increasingly immature pop-culture. Anyways, enough bitching:-)

Posted by: Dave at February 28, 2004 07:23 PM
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